Thursday, September 9, 1999

Hell Night

1981, Distributed by Compass International Pictures

Starring: Linda (the worst actress in history) Blair, Peter (Friday the 13th Part IV) Barton, and Vincent Van Patten

J-rock's Review:
out of 5 skulls




This one's pretty bad, but not even close to Bloodstalkers. It's about four pledges who have to spend a night in a haunted house. The brothers and sisters play pranks to scare them, but then, oh my!, the "mythical" monster DOES exist!! I wasn't expecting that one! Basically, everyone except Linda dies. The whole movie is very dark, and there is way too much dialogue for a horror movie.

A Letter to Linda Blair

Dear Ms. Blair,

It's been a long time since The Exorcist, and your fifteen minutes of fame are long over. I saw you on USA's "Happy Hour" recently, and while you are aging well, you never really had an acting career. I did enjoy your women-in-prison movie Chained Heat, but not because of your acting skills.

The first sign that you were the movie equivalent of a "one-hit wonder," like Yahoo Serious, Crispin Glover, and Freddie Prinze, Jr., should have been when you mocked yourself in Repossessed.

I do hope that you are happy and that this letter finds you in good health, but please refrain from looking for small slivers of limelight.

Sincerely,
Dr. J-Rock
Dean, University of Bad Horror Movies

For more information from the IMDb (for everyone except Linda): Hell Night

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