Thursday, July 18, 2002

Halloween: Resurrection


Directed by: I don't care

Starring: I really don't care - except for Daisy McCrackin, the hot redhead who shows her boobs (briefly, but they're nice, and hey, they're boobs)

J-Rock's Review:
Not as bad as Jason X, but still less enjoyable than a colonoscopy

I can't believe I spent money to see another shit-fest horror sequel.

One saving grace is that we saw Reign of Fire as the second half of the double feature, which cleansed the palate of the first movie.

Halloween: Resurrection sucked from beginning to end. First there's a scene stolen from T2 where Jamie Lee Curtis is in a mental hospital and Michael Myers shows up and kills her. During this scene you find out how Michael survived the last flick, when he was clearly decapitated - it was the wrong guy!!! Bum-bum-buuummmm!! Turns out Mikey took a paramedic's uniform and put his mask on the paramedic (cough*SilenceoftheLambs*cough), so Laurie Lee Strode hacked off the paramedic's head instead of her baby brother's.

The premise of the movie is also stupid as shit - six college students are selected to go into Michael's old house to see if anything is amiss (cough*MTV's Fear*cough) This would almost be interesting if they didn't cut every two seconds to a "webcam" perspective, where you can't see shit. Nothing scary happens, Michael chases them around, kills a bunch, and through all this shit, it turns out Michael was tortured and abused as a kid, and that's why he turned nutso. What a way to totally destroy the mythology behind a character. Total 2002 sensitive-psychotherapy-bullshit: everything bad happens because Mommy and Daddy weren't nice to him. What a crock. What's next? Freddy turned evil because a priest cornholed him as a kid?
And of course at the end, when you think MM was burnt to a crisp, his eyes open and the movie ends. Great, another fucking sequel.

The one positive I can take from this movie is that if some assholes can get this pile of crap produced, then there's hope for me to get my dream horror flick produced.

Don't see this movie - spend the money on porn instead.

For more information from the IMDb: Halloween: Resurrection