Friday, July 21, 2000

Class of 1999

Directed by: Mark L. Lester
Starring: Bradley Gregg as Cody Culp, Traci Lind as Christie Longford, Malcolm McDowell as Miles Longford, and Stacy Keach as Dr. Bob Forrest

J-Rock's Review:

of 5 skulls

Ever notice how old movies about the future tend to have a negative outlook? In The Terminator, Skynet destroys most of humankind in 1997. In Escape from New York, Manhattan is a prison colony by 1999. Heck, the classic example of this is George Orwell's classic novel 1984, which was later made into a really cool Apple Computer commercial. Class of 1999 is another movie with a pessimistic view of the world.

Here's a summary: by 1999, the worst inner parts of the major American cities have been overrun by gangs and are now "free-fire zones" where the police no longer go. Someone gets the bright idea to reopen the high school in the middle of the Seattle free-fire zone, so the Department of Educational Defense orders bionic teachers from a military contractor.

I'm sure you can figure out the rest - the teachers go haywire, the rebel student and the good girl have to run from them, and the rival gangs team up to destroy the teachers.

The special effects are actually pretty cool, with lots of explosions and great robotic stuff. Class of 1999 is worth a look if you're in the mood for some fun entertainment.

Oh yeah, this movie follows Class of 1984 (made in 1982), which stars Michael J. Fox and Malcolm McDowell (but in a different role...huh?). There's also a sequel, Class of 1999 II: The Substitute (made in 1992). When I find them, don't worry, I'll review them too!

For more information from the IMDB: Class of 1999

Sunday, July 2, 2000



Starring: Steven Young as Steven Lessey, Sharon Masters as Elizabeth Lessey, and some other stupid people

J-Rock's Review:

of 5 skulls

OK, this movie is about a horror writer who starts seeing visions of bloody, violent death scenes like the ones in his movies, and then his life falls apart - his daughter gets hanged accidentally by her brothers after seeing it in one of his movies, his neglected wife develops a coke habit, his publisher demands a new book, and on and on. Oh yeah, he shoots himself at the end. (Yay!)

The bad part is that this schlock claims to be a horror flick, but then tries to be a drama. It's not about the bloody death scenes, but about this man's life falling to pieces. So basically, it's boring and overwrought.

As for those death scenes, there is one really sick one where two little kids light their grandmother on fire, and another gross one where a woman in labor and her unborn child both die, and a really dumb one where a mechanic puts his head into the blades of a crop-reaper, and the reaper is started by a goat (???). That's about it, though. Outside of them, there's not much worth watching.

To sum up: this movie bites.

For more information from the IMDB: Deadline
For more information from Unknown Movies: Deadline