Wednesday, October 18, 2000

Candyman 3: Day of the Dead

Directed by Turi Meyer
Starring: Donna D'Errico (yum yum) as Caroline, Nick Corri as David, and Tony Todd as the Candyman

J-Rock's Review:
Gimme a D!Gimme an O!Gimme an N!Gimme another N!Gimme an A!
out of 5 skulls...or other things

This movie is awful. Flat-out awful. Well, not flat-out. More like beautiful round and buxom-awful. Basically, the only reasons to watch this movie are Donna D'Errico's boobies. Don't let me mislead you, though - you don't get to see them unleashed, but she does wear white tanktops for most of the movie.

Honestly, I was rather disappointed, having enjoyed the first two Candyman movies. But this one just sucks. Not only does it suck, it totally screws with the story set forth in the first two, which is always a movie no-no. But Donna D'Errico's boobies are a yes-yes.

For example, in the second movie, we saw through flashbacks that Danielle Robitaille (the future Candyman) was left for dead laying on a log in the desert. In Day of the Dead, Donna (as his great-great-great-boobied-granddaughter Caroline) explains that he was tied to a tree, which is also visualized in the form of a flashback. Huh?

The other thing I didn't like that they changed from the other movies was that in this one, Candyman spoke a lot more. And I mean a lot. There's one scene where he goes on for like 7 minutes. And you don't get to see Donna's boobies once in that span! What the hell?

And then there's about 60000000 fake scares, where you think the Candyman is sneaking up or about to kill someone, but it turns out to just be her roommate or someone set up to scare people or something else. The stupidest and most blatant fake scare was when Caroline hears her roommate screaming "Don't kill me, please don't kill me!!" and all this other crap, and it turns out she was rehearsing for a movie part she just got. I mean, come on.

As for the story itself, they basically took the same story from Farewell to the Flesh and changed it a little. Candyman is now chasing the next generation of his family, and while her mother destroyed him by smashing a mirror containing his soul, Caroline has to destroy his early paintings. They don't even explain how he returns after being destroyed. There's even a festival/parade scene which is almost identical to Mardi Gras in the second movie. One big change was that Donna D'Errico wore a white tanktop through most of the movie.

Oh yeah, one more thing - this movie was made only four years after the second one, but Caroline has grown a lot more than four years in the meantime, and the world hasn't changed that much. For this one to be chronologically accurate, it would have to take place in about 2012. But Donna's boobies would of course be just as big.

Anyway, be sure to miss this one, but if someone you know does happen to own it, you should check it out just to see...guess what?...Donna D'Errico's boobies.

For more information from the IMDb: Candyman: Day of the Dead