Sunday, May 3, 1998

Bloody Birthday

1981, distributed by Prism Pictures

Starring Elizabeth Hoy as Debbie, Billy Jayne as Curtis and Julie Brown as Beverly

J-Rock's Review:

of 5 skulls

This one's about three ten-year-olds who start killing people. Twisted, huh?

It's a pretty violent flick, with a lot of deaths. However it is just TOO dumb and illogical. I know, you're thinking, "But J-Rock, what horror movies actually make sense?", but this one is just beyond comprehension. If most horror flicks make "zero" sense, this one makes "negative" sense. Allow me to deliniate some flaws:
  1. The first murder: How oculd a ten-year-old swing a gravedigger's shovel hard enough to kill a strong 18-year-old?
  2. The sheriff's murder: He gets his head smacked with a baseball bat, but because the kids pull him onto some steps outside and say "he fell," the death is called a freak accident. Now, wouldn't someone notice there are four or five contusions on his skull matching the shape of a bat?!?
  3. The teacher's murder: There is blood on her front and back, with much more on her back, which was the entry wound and should not have been too bloody. In addition, the bullet apparently went through her, so it would have been in the wall somewhere. On top of that, once she was found dead, I would hope the authorities would have talked to the kids, who were in the school when she was shot, so they would have seen the BULLET HOLE Curtis' jacket!!
  4. Beverly's murder: I don't think a ten-year-old girl could pull back a recurve bow at all, let alone enough to launch an arrow into her sister's head. You've got to see this bow, too. It's bigger than the little girl!
  5. The end chase through the house: the blonde psycho kid cuts the wire that comes from the wall to the phone, and this results in all the phones in the house being dead?!?
  6. The very end: The hand-jack the psycho girl is playing with would not have been used to life the truck she drops on a guy. Also, I guess her mother didn't notie a FREAKIN' TRUCK dropped on a guy's head!!
One more thing to tell you about: we rewound the 'shovel to the face" scene about seven times, because it was just so damn ridiculously funny.

For more information from the IMDb: Bloody Birthday