Thursday, August 21, 2003

Citizen Toxie: The Toxic Avenger Part IV

It's a joke on Citizen Kane, get it? Oh yeah, it's not funny.

Directed by: Lloyd Kaufman
Starring: David Mattey, Debbie Rochon, Trent Haaga, and American icon and my personal hero RON JEREMY!!!

J-Rock's Review:
Ugh. An awful movie from beginning to end.

I love the original Toxic Avenger - I've watched that movie countless times, and it never gets old - because it was gross, irreverent, offensive, and funny. I guess in the intervening years, the folks at Troma forgot about that last one, because Citizen Toxie is not funny. Not at all. Not one funny joke.

I'm not some stupid parent who hates violence and foul humor, and complains about the content of the shows and movies their kid watches, instead of actually taking responsibility and monitoring what their stupid kid is watching - I mean, I love sophomoric and offensive humor and poop jokes, but only if they're funny! For example, two rednecks (one of whom is played by Mitch Cohen, the star of the first movie) drag a black man behind their truck until all that's left is a head - granted, it's so stupid and over-the-top as to almost be funny - but the only problem is that the crime being recreated happened years ago, which in today's age of MSNBC and Fox News, where headlines disappear as fast as American Idol winners, might as well have been the Mesozoic Era.

In case you're still reading, here's a quick plot summary - Toxie and Lardass (his new sidekick - what the?) rush into the Tromaville School for Special Students to save the tards, I mean special students, from the "Diaper Mafia." Yes, the Diaper Mafia, a take-off of the "trenchcoat mafia" killers from Columbine. Congratulations Troma on another timely joke.

A bomb explodes, which sends Toxie (along with 2 retards - damn it, I did it again!) into Amortville - and at the same time, sends the Noxious Offender into Tromaville. Parallel realities, get it? The plot then revolves around both men wreaking havoc in their opposite realities, and some other stuff where Toxie's wife Sarah is pregnant with 2 babies, one from each monster.

Now the story sounds OK on paper, with some hilarious possible situations and jokes, but in its execution the movie is just a jumble of disjointed, poorly conceived scenes replete with bad edits, not to mention a snail-turd's pace, helped along by incessant "Tromaville News" updates that are supposed to further the plot.

Even Ron Jeremy (as the mayor of Tromaville) can't save this shit-fest.

Ugh. Only see it if you are a die-hard Troma fan, and I know there are some out there, the same that rave about Tromeo & Juliet, another directionless, confusing, stupid Troma crapfest.

IMDB link: Citizen Toxie

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